Why do “good parents” raise “problematic” children ?!
Dear parents, “My Home” Regional Training Center starts 2020 with a seminar on a very relevant topic: “How to build quality emotional connection with your child?”
On January 24-25, we invite everyone willing to learn how to build strong relationships with their children, that will withstand any “storms” (adolescence, school years, etc.).
Unfortunately, quite often we see examples of families in which “good” parents raise “problematic” children. They choose “their own” values, are often deaf to their parents’ words, don’t listen to their advice, ignore all arguments, persuasions and ultimatums. It seems that everything their parents tried to teach them, everything they “invested” diligently in raising them was in vain.
The fact is that, first and foremost, you need to build quality and strong emotional connection with your child. Before setting rules, instructing, disciplining, or hoping your personal example will have an impact on your child, which most people think should “work”, you should work to build trusting relationship with your child.
The strength and quality of these relationships will determine to what extent your son or daughter will follow your example, listen to what you say and what will the response to “disciplinary action” be.
Studies have shown that children who did not have good and trusting relationship with their parents are more likely to become ill and achieve less success in life than those who had good communication with their parents and called them friends.
This is what the training “How to build quality emotional connection with your child” will be about.
The knowledge you will gain will forever change your relationship with the children you raise, teach, or serve. Thousands of parents and professionals who have undergone such training can attest to this.
Speaker/Coach:
Olga Oliynyk, wife of the trainer and founder of the School of Marriage, Oliinyk Oleh, mother of two children, family psychologist, crisis psychotherapist. Olga is a trainer of the International Child Development Program and has extensive experience working directly with children.
Duration: two days;
Number of participants: up to 60 people
We start on Friday, January 24 at 4 p.m.
Registration by phone number: +38 050 250 43 71 (Yulia)
registration from January 13 to January 19 – 200 UAH
Registration from January 20 to January 23 is 250 UAH
Registration on the day of the training – 300 UAH
Seating is limited!
Call today!
What each participant will receive:
effective knowledge that will be used practically in their families as well as at work (in ministry);
educational handouts (many videos) that can be used to share knowledge with other parents (staff, volunteers);
Certificate of training;
ABOUT CHILDREN BORN WITH GADGETS IN THEIR HANDS.
It is believed that every twenty years a new generation is born, whose worldview is strikingly different from previous generations. They have other values, character, mission.
1963 – 1984 – Generation X was born
1984 – 2000 – generation Y time
after 2000 – Generation Z
And today we are facing the arrival of a new generation Alpha (α) with children born during the rapid development of technology and social changes. They are raised by parents from Generations X and Y, who sometimes do not realize the huge difference between the approach to parenting that was applied to them and the one they should use with their children today.
WHAT SHOULD WE KNOW ABOUT MODERN CHILDREN?
👉Most often, it’s impossible to force them to do something. Method of forcing does not work with them. They show great interest in knowledge, but only if they understand why they need it. Therefore, with ultimatums, intimidation, threats, irrational punishments, modern parents will not succeed in raising their children.
WAY OUT: try to negotiate, cooperate, encourage and skillfully praise.
👉They receive a large amount of information every day. However, there are problems with perception, uptake and practical application of this information. Free access to Internet enables people to find out anything at any time. All history of the world is in your child’s pocket. Being filled with a variety of information, which is not built in a clear logical sequence in a person’s head and has no practical application, leads to defocusing and chaotic thinking. Often, children cannot concentrate and have problems with sitting still.
WAY OUT: Help them express their thoughts. Ask what new things did they learn today? How they can apply this information. Show interest in what they tell you. Children should not be “left alone with the information” they receive daily.
👉They are addicted to technology, busy with several things at the same time, very responsive.
WAY OUT: Limit their online time. Teach them to plan their time and write down the tasks they need to accomplish.
Last week we had a very useful seminar by Elena Yakovenko at our training center. Much was said about the way children think and the impact of intensive technology development on their worldview, skills and character.
We believe that everyone who attended this event received a lot of useful and practical information
We are very grateful to the Head of Kherson Regional State Administration (governor of Kherson region) who, despite his busy schedule, agreed to meet with our team this morning.
From the conversation with Yuri Gousev it was clear that he is not interested in temporary political success, but he is really determined to make every effort to ensure long-term positive changes and significantly improve the level of social services in our region.
Agenda of the meeting was the following:
The meeting was also attended by:
➡️ Deputy Head of Kherson Regional State Administration Світлана Чепіга (Svitlana Chepiga)
➡️Founder of My Home Alexander Gordenko
➡️Executive director of th Center of Family and Parenthood Development “My Home” Павел Смоляков (Pavel Smolyakov)
JOINING EFFORTS OF INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE WE COVER THE NEEDS OF VULNERABLE CHILDREN!
Volodymyr Zelensky supports the replacement of ophanage placement forms with family ones.
President of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky, together with his wife Yelena, met with adoptive parents, caregivers, foster parents and guardians from different regions of Ukraine on the Day of Adoption, which is celebrated on September 30.
Yuri Marinchak, Executive Director of My Home and his wife Oksana Marinchak and Chairman of the Ukrainian Association of Foster Parents, Alexander Vasilyev and his wife were invited from Kherson region.
Our friends and partners, Chairman of the Board at “Dawn of Dreams”, Pavel Shulga and his wife were representatives from Nikolaev region.
Volodymyr started the meeting by expressing thanks to everybody for the care and love they give to children:
“You are doing a great thing that, unfortunately, our state does not do. Does not do enough, like it should be in a normal, democratic European country. ”
In their conversation with the President, the parents spoke about important issues for them, including the need to simplify the procedures for providing the paperwork required to register foster care or adoption. Families also stressed the need for preventing child abandonment and working with families who are in a difficult or crisis situation.
https://www.president.gov.ua/…/volodimir-zelenskij-pidtrimu…
We sincerely thank the President, his wife and the team of the President’s Commissioner on Children’s rights for meeting parents of orphans and children deprived of parental care and adoptive parents.
We’d like to thank all the amazing men and women who minister to orphans!
Effective work with traumatized children is carried out through personal relationships with a living person rather than through compliance with the general regime of a soulless system.
10 family-style orphanages are currently members of “My Home” and we are aiming for more!
Listening for hours to people who serve orphans, we are once again convinced that they are in great need of support and understanding from the society and government.
They are the ones who do this priceless work for the benefit of society, but the society , in its turn, values this work at a very low rate and oftentimes takes a jab at it
Foster parents and caregivers of family-style orphanages sometimes have to listen to harsh, unfair words.
You know, it’s hard enough to find parents today who have no problems raising their biological kids, who, it would seem, have not suffered serious psychological and physical injuries. And yet, even raising “our” children, we are faced with very difficult challenges.
Imagine what parents who raise “abandoned for the state” traumatized children deal with every day. Yes, they receive money for keeping the children and a meager salary for the love and care they give every single day from the “resources” of their hearts. And many people, by the way, believe that these resources are inexhaustible.
The purpose of the abovementioned is to help the society change its biased attitude towards foster parents and caregivers of family-style orphanages. Show more understanding and respect for those who have chosen the best profession in the world – to be mom and dad for an abandoned child!
SUCCESS IN THE COMMUNITY STARTS WHEN SOCIAL ISSUES OF THE COMMUNITY ARE GIVEN AS MUCH ATTENTION AS QUESTIONS OF ITS BUDGET. 📌
(Zeleny Pid OTG) of Kakhovka Rayon of Kherson Region. It was held in Zeleny Pid Village Council.
The meeting was attended by the head of the community, Галина Лобунько (Galina Lobunko), professionals of the village council, project manager of “Ridna Zemlia” (Homeland, Kakhovka), Людмила Августинович (Lyudmila Avgustinovich), the team of My Home (Kherson), Юрий Маринчак (Yuri Marinchak), Alexander Gordenko, Executive Director of “My Home” Center of Family and Parenthood Development (Kherson), Павел Смоляков (Pavel Smolyakov) and church pastor, chaplain and active volunteer, Yevgeny Taran.
Also, the village council was attended by representatives of different NGOs, Sunday school teachers, educators and teachers of educational institutions, social workers, media representatives and a group of active citizens from the village of Korobky, who care about children and want to learn from the experience of creating children’s daycare center and social support center for children and families (https://www.kmu.gov.ua/ua/npas/249510295)
📌 One of the main goals of this meeting was to discuss and analyze assessment of the needs of families, children and the elderly living in the territory of OTG in order to ensure efficiency and feasibility of the services that will be offered to the residents.
Our team was impressed with the success of this OTG. Galina Lobunko has been leading the village council for 17 years (2 of them as head of the OTG). She talked about her team’s work.
Over the past years, community leaders have established playgrounds, built a sports ground, improved the level of medical services at the level of OTG, made a lot of capital repairs in educational institutions, are repairing the roads and lighting involving both the community budget and the state budget…
“2 years of Decentralization reform have brought so many positive results. If only people understood this and joined the work instead of waiting for someone to come from somewhere and do something good for them “, Galina noted.
By the way, this Community takes 2 or 3 place on self-sufficiency in the region.📌
What steps did we discuss?
1. Assessment of people’s needs – preparation of analytical report
2. Development of a model of services
3. Calculation of the cost of services
4. Training
5. Planning implementation of the model
Capable community means wholesome country! The community should be open to ensuring well-being of its families and children.
We sincerely thank our partners:
NGO “Ridna Zemlia” (“Homeland” Kakhovka) and powerful team of the International Leadership Development Center (МЦРЛ Україна, Kyiv)
To be continued!
Last week, our partners, NGO “Ridna Zemlia” (Homeland) and a group of Christian volunteers organized a real celebration for kids from the village of Korobky to celebrate the start of summer holidays.
The kids were delighted with everything that was organized for them by the team that Zhenia Bondarenko gathered. We hope that they will remember this day of school camp in a special way!
We sincerely thank the director of school, Olga Tkach and all the teaching staff for their hospitality.
Also, we express our gratitude to the leadership of NGO “Ridna zemlia” (Homeland) for allocating funds for this children’s event.
More pictures: https://www.facebook.com/katya.balanenko/posts/1594852190647591
#ПутьСлуженияДетям День 5 – с.Коробки, Каховского района. Часть 2
Posted by Katerina Zefirchik on Thursday, June 6, 2019
Trampoline, puppet theater, extremely creative crafts, tasty and useful goodies – all of this added even more colors to the program of school summer camp.
Over 100 children, who live in crisis families, celebrated the Feast of Christs’s Resurrection with our team.
Friendly atmosphere, fun hosts, gifts and sweets, active games and interesting Easter program from families of the Ministry and teenagers from the Center of social integration – we prepared all of this to help families feel the atmosphere of this bright spring holiday.
While the children played games, their parents were invited to communicate with the team of “My Home” Family and Parenthood Development Center in a separate auditorium. In general, only mothers or grandmothers came with their children. It was immediately evident how unusual this atmosphere of good, sincere, easy communication is for them, where people are attentive and respectful to them.
As a rule, our mercantile society disdains poverty. Being poor is not a crime. And we have no right to devalue people with low income, stigmatize or judge them. In general, judging people is not the matter of human hands, but God’s, unless, of course, we are talking about an administrative or criminal offense.
Every family, which, for various reasons, found themselves in a difficult or crisis situation, deserves a “helping hand”. It’s another matter whether they will use it wisely or not. But, the family definitely needs it.
The ability of local community, in general, depends on its careful attitude to each member of society. And “It’s no concern of mine” attitude will sooner or later lead to a self-centered society that survives satisfying its needs by suppressing the needs of others.
This phenomenon is already widely observed in our society. Unfortunately.
Our objective is not to be indifferent to the needs of other people. Timely provided support to a family, that is in a difficult or crisis situation, can prevent alcoholism, domestic violence, divorce and removal of children from families.
Community unity is a very powerful thing. Imagine a state in which people stand up for each other with all their might, worry about the well-being of their neighbors, are able to share and help those in need – who will be able to harm such a state?
Indifference is the scourge of modernity. Don’t cultivate this shortcoming.
Manager of our project to support families in crisis:
Lyudmila Afanasyeva – 095 418 15 61
[email protected]
We are grateful to the Children’s Service of the Department of Youth and Sports of Kherson City Council for close cooperation
Yesterday evening, we, along with the Ministry’s team, took a hundred Easter breads to Kherson regional children’s home. Such Easter sweets were given to children by a wonderful cafe of our city “Coco”.
We are very grateful to entrepreneurs who are not indifferent to social work and are always open to help, and often are the initiators of support.
On July 8, the Law “On Amendments to Some Legislative Acts of Ukraine as for Strengthening of Protection of Children’s Right for Adequate Maintenance by Improving the Procedures for Recovery of Alimony” entered into force. This law clearly states that the child is the owner of alimony. Adults manage these funds but only for needs of the child.
It is evident that in recent years indifference to human needs is growing with each year. Public organizations, before helping a person in need, analyze severity of the person’s situation and only after multiple meetings make their decisions. But time goes by and as experience shows, sometimes assistance comes too late. “My Home” Orphans’ Ministry, in addition to the main goal – to see Ukraine without orphans, also has a goal to unite efforts and to provide timely assistance to people who are in a crisis situation.
Sergei Tikhonenko is a cheerful and vibrant guy who is not afraid of hard work, graduate of Oleshki orphanage for children with disabilities.
We are grateful to the public organization “Ukrainian Union of People with Disabilities “Ridna Zemlia” (Homeland) for financial support, thanks to which My Home Orphans’ Ministry contributed to arrangement of a bathroom for Olga Melnyk. Currently, remodeling works are still ongoing.
On March 17 and 18 the team of Kherson mentorship project conducted a training based on Mentors training program for orphans and children deprived of parental Care in the Church of Nativity (Nova Kakhovka, Kherson region). The training was attended by 10 people, whose hearts were set on this type of helping children.
Again, a new group of prospective adoptive parents and caretakers visited NGO “Center of family and parenthood development”. It is always moving and new, it is expectation, desire to plunge into the subject, new experiences and new friends.
We all love surprises and variety in our lives, that’s why another one and so traditional by now Day of Birthday Child in Tsurupinsk orphanage was celebrated in an unusual way.
On February 19 our team visited the Church of Christ the Savior (Kherson) to encourage and inspire parishioners to new service projects. We presented the project of helping families who are in difficult circumstances, mentorship for children raised in institutions, adaptation center for graduates of orphanages. We also voiced the importance of creating daycare centers and centers of early intervention in Kherson for children at risk because we all strive to improve the social situation in the region and in the country as a whole.
This motto united Kherson region during the regional conference dedicated to the issues of improving the quality of social services to vulnerable population groups, such as disabled children, orphans and families in difficult life circumstances.
On January 27, at the premises of the tourist complex “Fregat” there was the first thematic conference of the regional level. It brought up the question of development of social services in Kherson region. The conference brought together over 300 participants. Without exaggeration, it was a significant event for the entire region. During the conference, they discussed current problems in the social sphere both in Kherson region and in Ukraine.
On December 30 in the auditorium of Orphan’s Ministry “My Home” everyone could feel the atmosphere of goodwill, happiness and celebration. To welcome guests of our winter meeting in the best possible way, everybody was getting ready: team of “My Home”, graduates of orphanages, families and children of families living in the center of social adaptation. And each of them had their own assignment: some greeted guests, some took pictures and some made tea, held contests, sang carols or responsibly set up microphones and turn on the music. The event was also joined by boys and girls who graduated from Tsyurupynsk orphanage. Everyone who was involved in organizing the celebration really wanted large families with low income and families in crisis that were guests of the Ministry to feel the support and care from our side.